i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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