is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
