Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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