i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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