just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize