Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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