Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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