The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
