hotel room ftw
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
