Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm at about main and main street
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just had sex on a roof
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
