I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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