oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
