Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
