We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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