We won't sleep together?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
