I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
