I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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