i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
