Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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