I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Someone shit on the floor
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
