So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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