You made me cry and you don't even care
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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