She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
