im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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