Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
