season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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