so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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