so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
