I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
