Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize