So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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