I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
