girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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