How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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