I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
