I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
