no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
