I CAN MOONWALK!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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