considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
