Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
