yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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