everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
