FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
