When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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