I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
