RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
