dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
