You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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