Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
