i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
