I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
foreskin is a definite game changer
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think my nap took me to another dimension
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
