Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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