clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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