Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize