nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
