That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
