I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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