just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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