ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
are you so shy because you have an std?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
