I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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