oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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