she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Buhtt sex?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
