Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize