Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
