it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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