I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
