I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
