Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
