New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
