please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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