I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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