at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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