either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
