You can't motorboat a personality
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
