He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
