i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize